Surrender (give oneself up into the power of another) is a word I have always avoided. My stubborn side just gets more entrenched if you talk about surrendering.
Maybe this push back came because I was raised by 2 strong parents and raised with 3 strong brothers.
I remember having philosophical discussions with my dad. The talk would go on and on. Finally, I would either agree with him or just stop talking.
Later on in life, I realized that he was just trying to be sure I stayed on the “right track” in life. But was that the right track for me?
Recently, I realized that the folks I feel most called to assist through my transformational work are the highly intuitive and sensitive. (It wasn’t until later in my life that I realized I was one!) As I thought about “surrender,” I wondered if the highly intuitive and sensitive tend to be more opposed to surrendering or is it a common human attribute?
I’ve noticed that those of us who are highly intuitive and sensitive don’t seem to feel like we belong; we don’t feel we are normal (whatever that is).
There are many ways we try to fit in. Often parents, teachers, and others in authority try to force us into their world (for our own good, of course).
- Some of us fight the system (family expectations, school, work),
- try to go along with the program,
- or bit by bit we check-out figuring “What’s the use?
You may or may not resonate to these experiences, but I’m sure you have some kind of reaction to the word “surrender.”
Today I was thinking about how, for me, autumn feels like a time to go deep within myself. Like a deep sea diver, I feel myself settling into a magical world inside.
It occurred to me that this might describe a certain kind of surrender–a surrender to my deep authentic self.
This kind of surrender feels different. I relax into me. I trust that, in the arms of me, I am safe.
Here I’m not being forced into believing something or agreeing to something that is not me. Instead, I am offering myself an experience of being more of me–the highest and best part of me.
At times in my life that hasn’t been easy. I didn’t trust myself to know my truth. Parts of me would say, “But what about . . . ?”
Finding that authenticity inside me required peeling off all the beliefs I had taken on that were not mine. Sometimes I felt like a traitor to my family. Their religious language and precepts didn’t fit for me. I still honored that, for them, this was part of their authenticity; it just wasn’t mine. It took me a long time to be OK with that.
What has your experience been? Did you fight the system? Did you surrender in a way that seemed like giving up part of yourself?
If, in your part of the country or world, you don’t experience autumn by the changing of the leaves, is there some special something that takes you deeper into yourself?
Would you describe that as a kind of surrender?
Or maybe we just need to use different words. What words describe that deep rest within you?
We need these times of allowing, not fighting what we don’t like. We need that trust in self that makes room for our inner knowing to bubble up and our higher intentions to rest comfortably within our skin.
May you be blessed with such experiences, whatever time of year.